I want to tell my kids everyday when I send them off to school that their school days are the best days of their life. I want to be able to say that to them with confidence in knowing that some of my greatest memories were from my school days with friends. As they sit in the back seat with butterflies in their bellies, nervous to go a school day without me, nervous if someone will sit with them at lunch or if they will be played with at recess. I sit in the front seat thinking about the fact that some parents dropped their kids off at school and never got the chance to see them at the end of the day. Never got to hold them, never got to put that day's artwork on their fridge and never got to see their smiling faces after another memorable day at school. I think about the parents who pick their kids up and will never feel safe in a school ever again after seeing such a horrific act of violence where they will be traumatized for years to come and maybe even a lifetime.
I, unlike some, choose to separate myself from the news and the daily upsetting reports all around the world, not because I don't care but because I am crippled with fear when something like this happens. Something so out of my own control, something that I feel completely powerless to stop or prevent. Some say ignorance is bliss and I tend to try to live by that motto in most cases. Being a Mother to two young children has been a challenge in many ways for me and I know a lot of parents can relate. Being a Mother to two young children who have a father who is a gun enthusiast is by far my biggest struggle yet.
I am not writing this to bash their father in any way shape or form and I understand the hunting logistics of owning guns but something I just can't seem to relate to is the infatuation with owning these guns for play. For a way to release anger or for a fun afternoon of shooting. I can not relate to the need to purchase a firearm for a child to target practice or to shoot small animals in the backyard. I am trying to raise my children to release their anger in ways that are constructive and will cause no harm to themselves or others. I have to share my time with my children with their father in hopes that he too will teach them these same morals that I believe so strongly in.
Now please, do not get me wrong. I know that there are lots of gun safety lessons and tips being taught to children of “gun enthusiast” families and I respect your right in this practice but it does not mean I have to like it. Gone are the days when playing cops and robbers was just a fun game in the back yard because now these guns are becoming an actual real problem in our world. No one thinks it's cute to pretend to shoot your friend in the backyard with a stick anymore because there are actual guns being shot at kids in schools and there is nothing funny about this.
I am a huge advocate for mental health and I think the amount of children and adults in this world are struggling daily with so much and there needs to be so much more awareness and acceptance with asking for help. I can remember a time when hearing someone had a therapist meant that they were crazy or had something wrong with them. Going to a yearly checkup or a doctor for a cold is considered to be so common and accepted but going to a therapist can be frowned upon or some think of it to be a sign of weakness. As an adult I have learned that a lot of our behavior stems from things from our childhood that we have not dealt with fully and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I wish as a young child I myself had a regular therapist to share the things I was even afraid to write in my own journal. There are people on the earth who are trained to listen, guide and teach us how to handle anger, depression, frustration and day to day struggles and that is one of the greatest gifts the medical field can offer for our mental health.
I am writing this because i just dropped my two kids off at school. I dropped them off and told them it will be the best day and that these memories at school will be ones they have for years to come. I said this to them knowing that they have no idea what happened in Texas or about the hundred of other school shootings that have happened this year alone. I said this to them because it's my job to give them the courage to get out of the car and head into school today and believe that they are safe and that they will have fun and come home to me safely at the end of the day.
The people of this world are sad, they are depressed, they are lost and they need to be taught other ways to channel that anger and find better ways to practice getting out their aggression. I as a mother never think “It can't happen to me” because I have seen families struggle with things like drug use, violence addiction and tragedy with guns and it does not discriminate against who it comes after. As a parent I will vow to be an advocate for mental health acceptance. To teach my children that therapy is my savior and that talking about things is the best solution to any problem. To always ask for help and to never hurt yourself or anyone else during your process of healing. I can not change the world and this is a tough thing to accept raising two young children in the world today. I can however be a light to my children and do everything in my power to show them the way. My heart is heavy and there will never be a day I don’t worry that something like this could happen to us. I pray for a future world that is not so angry and not so sad. I pray for the children growing up in this world to not have to live in fear everyday getting off the bus or out of their parents car. I pray that we as parents are doing our job to teach our children the safety that needs to be taught about guns and channeling our own anger or sadness. I pray that there's a huge uprising of therapists to be available to all our children and ourselves to help us all heal in a positive way. I pray that these therapists too have therapists and so on to deal with such a heavy burden and I praise you who carry this job title. I pray that one day we will live in a world that is happy. That the words we say to our children sending them off to school for a day of learning and fun are said with confidence and not fear. -XO
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