Raising kids today has got to be one of the most difficult jobs for parents. I know this because I am struggling day by day at this job. This world we are raising them in is so completely different from the one I grew up in. It seems it's changed the way we parent and the way our kids act to our parenting. I don't recall my parents constantly entertaining me throughout the day and planning activities for me because “I don't know what to do” with a house full of toys or an entire yard full of adventure. I remember keeping myself busy and playing school and library or making mud pies in the backyard and creating an entire world of imagination for myself without anyone telling me how I should play. Being creative and using what I had to make myself have fun and not ask my Mom and Dad a million times what I should do next. Maybe the way they were parenting me was better than what I am doing or maybe it's the fact that tablets and TV have literally ruined the entire younger population. We as parents are just at a breaking point and feel like giving up and handing them the device to put ourselves out of the misery. Now I realize that not every household struggles with these same issues but after talking with a decent amount of Moms and Dads out there I am realizing that I am definitely not alone in this struggle of parenting.
Sometimes I think it’s me. I am giving them too much. Too much screen time, too many toys and possessions, too many outings and play dates with friends. I certainly don’t remember being a kid and having friends over constantly and being able to sit in front of a TV or a tablet for hours at a time. Parenting is hard and sometimes taking away the things that they don't need make our jobs that much harder. The one time you cave at the store and let them pick out the treat or toy becomes a habit for them which creates every trip to the store into a nightmare. Entitlement in kids these days has become such a huge issue and I can't help but want to break this cycle sooner than later.
Coming out of this pandemic I think we all are in this same situation. The screen time was increased by double because what else could we do for all those hours we stayed inside the house? Now we are free so let's plan a million activities with friends and trips and outings and go go go until we drop because we were robbed from that privilege for the last 2 years. We as parents are just trying to make up for all this loss time and the no control we had on what was going on in our world.
Growing up as a kid riding my bike down the street was not as scary as it is today and the amount of “bad guys” out there didn't seem to be as high. There seems to be a stigma as well with letting your kids be a little free and play outside alone or unsupervised 24/7 because it means we are bad parents. Now, we can’t send our kids out into the world without giving them a cell phone because god forbid we can't track their every move or be in constant contact with them. It almost becomes our guilt and fear by not giving them these things because how are we supposed to expect them to call for help or in an emergency if we do not provide them with this device to do so. It's completely insane, but it is such a different world than what we knew before.
I used to feel like I wanted to be the Mom who didn't have to publicly yell at her kids or reprimand them in the store. I had hoped I would just dodge that bullet and I would just magically have these well behaved kids who just knew how to act and when to act that way. Somewhere along the way I have lost control and seem to be the parent grabbing her kids arm in the grocery store or yell whispering in their ear to get my point across because I have two fearless little creatures who don't seem to be afraid of much these days.
Now I also struggle with the transition day. If you are like me and are raising kids in a split family you will understand these days. The day they come back from their fathers house are some of the toughest hours of the entire week. We parent differently and I had thought someday that would change but then again we would still be married if I had any kind of hope for that future. Whether it's because they didn't sleep enough or their eating habits were different, their entire routine is changed when they are in a different household for a few days and so transition day is HARD. I now after doing this for 2 years have been able to handle it differently and accept that things are going to be a little tougher and planning big outings and play dates on this day are just not going to work in our world. We have to focus on getting back to the routines and rules that we follow at my house.
Writing about all these “parenting problems” and discussing them with my fellow parents makes me know that I am not alone. Being aware of what we are doing and not doing to better their future is a huge step in the right direction and just following through is the hardest challenge of it all. The consistency for me has always been my weakness. As my children are getting older I now see it is what I as a parent need to focus on the most. The screaming that may come from my windows when someone doesn't get their way is just a fact of life and it too shall pass, (I have apologized to my neighbors a dozen times.) The trip to the grocery store might not turn out the way I planned and end with me being the mom grabbing their arm in the check out line but I’d take that Mom over the one letting her kid act completely unruly any day of the week. I do not judge that Mom either, because I too have been her and I know she has probably had the longest day and has completely given up and just wants to buy the food she needs to make the dinner that they wont eat that night. Being the buzz kill who has to yank her kids off the splash pad because they can't follow directions and act like they can do whatever the hell they want is a shitty way to spend a sunny afternoon and definitely not the expectation you had going into it but It too shall pass. All the tough moments and the screaming and crying that we endure in a day, week, month and years are all because we are doing our job as parents. All the other parents out there struggling watching you are not judging you and instead they are high fiving you for sticking to your word and doing the right thing for your child and hopefully taking something from your experience that they will later use down the road as a parent.
The days are long, the years seem short and the world is just so different than what we used to know. Everyday there's a different kind of struggle and we are all literally just trying to survive until bedtime. Mom guilt is real and we all feel it from one time or another and I think we will for the rest of our lives. This job was not meant to be easy and I don't think it ever will be. We are all doing the best that we can. We should always be the Mom watching the other Mom struggle and be the one to give her the high five and let her know she is doing the best at the most difficult job she has ever had. -XO
Комментарии