The start of a new month always makes me feel like I get to hit the refresh button. Set better goals, make better choices and work on myself more and what makes me happy. I don't know why it is so easy for us to lose ourselves in day-to-day life. Whether it's being a Mom, dealing with changes in your life or keeping up with other people and their agendas it just seems like the road to getting lost is so much shorter than the road to staying on track. I suppose it is because its easier to fail than it is to keep pushing yourself to succeed.
Summer is one of my favorite times of the year but always seems to be the season that I stay up too late, attend way too many parties and picnics and have far too many seltzers. It's always a time where I feel like I am running to do the next thing before the thing I’m doing is even over. Rushing to the lake after work or taking the kids swimming and trying to fit everything into a day all while trying to keep a somewhat normal sleep schedule and clean house and mind. I end up run down tired and wondering why I didn't spend more time sitting in the grass just doing nothing but stare at clouds or watch my kids play. It’s a pattern and I have been a victim of yet another summer spent running around and feeling worn out and exhausted. I know I'm not alone and a lot of us crave that pumpkin spice coffee and cooler days not just because we are rushing a season change but because it for whatever reason reminds us all to slow down a little and just live a little slower.
New month, new goals. I used to spend time beating myself up for the way I had spent my time and instead of thinking about ways to change end up in a downward spiral of self loathing. Why didn’t I work out more? Why did I drink so much that past weekend? Why is there still a pile of laundry on my bed and I spent my last hour playing on my phone? The thing Is every day we get to start over, start fresh and make better choices and in the last year I have learned, with help, that we can’t blame ourselves for what we did in the past but instead focus on what we can do in the future to make us better.
I have honestly “started over” like half a dozen times throughout my life and each time, as hard as it is, seems to get just a little bit easier than the time before. Thinking back on past situations that I have been in, I remember how easy it was for me to literally just accept what life has thrown my way and just live in misery. Thankfully, something or someone is always telling me that there is more available than what you're dealing with. Whatever is happening in your life right now may not even be a big deal in a day or even a few hours. Some bigger things tend to linger and can affect your life much differently but every obstacle thrown our way is only making us the better version of ourselves and nothing is forever and can always have you coming out on top.
Don't sweat the small stuff. I try to tell my kids this all the time and every time I say it I feel like I hear it too and am reminded that whatever is bothering me now won't necessarily bother me later. How we choose to spend our time is a choice and I'm pretty sure none of us have a gun to our head to do any of the things we do day to day. I mean yes we have to go to work to pay our bills but our job is our choice and no one is forcing us to be there if it's not making us happy. Lifestyles can always be changed and no matter how young or old we are, we can spend our time doing what makes us happy or what makes us feel like crap.
Being a Mom to two little kids in a crazy world and starting a new life with them and busting my butt to give them this life has been hands down the biggest reminder to me that I can accomplish anything. Yes, I still sit here and think about the fact that I never ran a half marathon and may not have everything I hoped I would at 35 but I also know that there is a time and a season for everything that is to come in your life. Little victories are worth celebrating and sometimes I don't think we do that enough. Like the fact that today is the first morning in a long time I beat my kids outta bed and was able to drink one coffee and start typing before I had to be at their service for the morning hustle. Victory for me. In five minutes my phone alarm will go off and I will have to wake them up. I may have only beaten them by a half hour but It was more than yesterday and instead of wishing I got up a little earlier to have an hour I was stoked I did it at all given my current state of exhaustion. I have felt the other way at times and being able to look back at what it made me feel like has taught me to appreciate whatever little perk life throws your way because some days are going to be a lot tougher than others. And by little perk I mean, me waking up earlier than my kids for the first time in days was no little perk to me, but may sound silly to someone else. I have taught myself that my goals and victories do not always need to be like someone else’s. I love when I'm inspired by other people's goals and victories but just recently realized that mine can be different and even if we have similar ones we are not going to reach our goals the same way. I may have to hit the restart button ten times and you may get it in one. No one is at the same point of their life as you are and you're the only one who has the power to change or stay the same.
Everybody sets goals or wants to challenge themselves. Most of us like to share the goals we have with each other whether it's because we need validation or a partner to complete it with. We set the bar high and promise ourselves we're going to reach our goal. Life happens and next thing you know that friend is checking in on your status and you were on a 5 day running streak but couldn't get your ass outta bed one day and got completely off track. Some use this as a form of motivation and others just see it as failure and get back into the same slump they were in before they set the goal.
A friend told me once to never share your really tough goals with people. The ones that you know you struggle with and are going to be incredibly difficult to reach. Instead of feeling really good about yourself you could possibly fail at your first or tenth try and then just have to feel like you have to explain yourselves to all the people you told you were going to only drink on weekends or run 50 miles this month. People who really care about you will be supportive and tell you what you want to hear but at the end of the day the goals are not theirs and they can’t change your life. We all tend to mimic each other and try to get our next good idea off of someone else when all we really need to do is sit and listen to ourselves and what we want and make it happen.
I sound like I know what I'm talking about but this is something I have struggled with my entire life. I spent years just settling for what was in front of me and not being confident enough to know that there is more ahead and greater days to come. There is a million in one things I am not good at and may never do but if each day you celebrate what you have done, how can life ever make you feel like a failure.
I have a sign above my bed that says “Blessed”. This sign was a bit of a joke or ongoing hassle with my ex. Much like the sign I have in the kitchen that says “eat” because obviously Emily you eat in a kitchen no one needs a sign to be told that. Whatever. The “Blessed” sign, I bought after Anthony was born because I truly felt blessed. I wanted it to be a word that was visible because it's not just a sign, it's a feeling. My daughter asked me about the sign tonight because she had a package of stickers and one for the stickers said “Blessed.” I wouldn't say she could read the word as we are still working on that goal but it looked familiar to her because of the sign that hangs in the house. She asked me what the word meant and why I have it hanging up and I gave her my version of what the word meant to me and why I like having it up. She smiled and approved of my explanation and I can guarantee it will not be the last time she talks about it. A learning moment for her and also a learning moment for me.
Everyday we are growing and evolving into better versions of ourselves we just have to slow down and listen to the little things life is telling us. The hustle and bustle tends to get us off track and we forget about things that make us happy and what our goals really are. September 1st is the new month and starts to get into the cozier season. I am thankful for the last few days of summer to spend them a little slower and focus on what makes me happy and fulfilled. I have goals on paper that I have not yet met and could take me years to accomplish. I will get caught back into a fast paced life again and need to sit and revisit what I really want but the great thing is I've got the world to go and have no time to start giving up now. -Xo
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