Bed time with kids tends to be the most stressful time of the day for parents. We are tired, they are tired and sometimes our patience are short and if we are not careful we can miss some of the best conversations with our little ones. I am extremely guilty of this. There are nights that I just long for their little eyes to close so that I can catch up on Etsy orders, read a book or watch another episode of whatever show I'm into. I rush the process, do quick good nights, get a little short when they don't want to stop talking and end up sitting on the couch after they have fallen asleep wishing I knew what they had to say before they closed their eyes and went to sleep.
Every night at bed time I lay with each one of my kids. Right now they share a room and have bunk beds so I start on the bottom with Anthony. Anthony is 4 and our conversations are light and we usually talk about lunch at daycare and which character he wants to be on the Croods. We will snuggle and give the tightest hug and all of the kisses and I am not allowed to get up until he says "ding ding."
Next I climb up the ladder to the top bunk and lay with my complex little girl Evelyn. Our conversations are much different than talking about the Croods. Just the other night I was asked "Mom, how do you make metal? How do you make light bulbs? Where does glass come from? Who was the first baby born? How are babies born? Who created Life?" There are nights she makes my head spin and honestly some of the questions she asks I don't even know the answers to myself. I came up with some kind of a practical answer and she seems satisfied with my response. In the evening all of the things that have been in her head throughout the day come out. It's like she can not settle herself until she empties her thoughts from the day. I too can totally relate to this. I have always been the one in bed who is the talker at the end of the day, checking things off my mental list or asking questions I didn't get a chance to ask during the day to the person lying next to me. I think sometimes adults don't give kids enough credit when they are young. We can get into this habit of dismissing their feelings or their questions or thoughts because they are just “kids' ' and it's bedtime and not the time to talk. If bedtime is not the time to talk for them then when is it? Sure dinner time is always an appropriate time to sit around a table and talk about the day but it's not always a one on one situation and the stage is not always yours. There is always someone talking over you or trying to interrupt (even in our little house of 3 we have this problem.)
Sometimes being a parent is exhausting and we long for the end of the day and for a smooth and quick bedtime. What we forget is that these little people, just like us, have so many concerns and questions and need to know that they can ask them. They need to know it's okay to be curious and sometimes sad or even a little scared some days. It's our job to give them practical answers to their questions, comfort them when they are feeling sad or scared and give them things to look forward to when the morning comes.
As a parent there are days that can make you long for bedtime to have a moment to yourself. I myself have felt this more days than I care to admit but recently I have been living with my eyes a little bit more open. I have realized that nothing on my phone is as important as these two little people are, no question is off the table no matter what the age, and that someday they won't want me to lay in bed with them at bed time. We are living in a world full of so many distractions and there are days that feel like they will never end. Being a parent is tough, rewarding and beautiful and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I am learning everyday how to be better and calmer and live with my eyes more open to the world that they see from their view. Dance parties make any bad day better, tight hugs are a must and bedtime is hard but is starting to become one of my favorite moments of the day. The Netflix show will be there when they are done asking their questions and the book on your night stand will still be there days or even months from now but the moments like this will be gone before you know it. My goal for this stage of my life even with all the hectic moments and stress I tend to feel is to slow down and be more present in the moments that are passing me by. Forgiving myself for the nights I didn't listen to the questions and looking forward to the nights that I do. Here's to finding out how a light bulb is made and dodging the questions on how babies are born for at least a few more years.
-XO
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