On this road to self discovery and figuring out how to handle the day to day hacks of life and its ups and downs I have learned that there are things that have helped me grow along the way. Useful tips that I have learned from others that have kept me on my toes in moments when I feel like my world is falling apart. I'm always looking for ways to stay centered, grounded and present in my life and would love to hear some feedback from you as to what helps you stay on your path and maybe some of my tips can help you as well.
Things that I have learned along the way.
1. Write things down.
Obviously this is a huge one for me. I'm not suggesting everyone broadcast on a blog (but it's super fun to do)or post on social media your life but writing things down has always been a huge growth method for me. I believe that there is something so powerful about getting the thoughts out of your head and either on paper or into your keyboard. Journaling is something I think as adults sometimes we stop doing because it can seem like we are writing in our “diary” or there is a fear of someone reading our deepest thoughts. Carrying around the weight of the world in our heads is even more dangerous than not getting them out there. Writing for me is a release. It makes me feel a little lighter and with my blog helps me to feel like maybe what I'm dealing with is getting out there to someone else who may be struggling or celebrating the same things.
2. Listen to music.
Need I say more? Music is something that can either bring me to tears when I am feeling down or lift my spirits when I need a boost of confidence. There is literally a song for everything hence the blog I have written about a soundtrack to my life. If you're not a Taylor Swift fan, fine. I don't understand it but to each their own. That girl has got some gold. Sometimes you just need to put some music on that might make you cry and that's perfectly okay. Music is something my kids and I LOVE. They like it LOUD, they like it upbeat and they LOVE to dance around the house. This has been something that has always gotten me out of a funk. Simply turn on the music and play it loud and just dance. It will honestly get you out of whatever it is that is making you not feel like yourself.
3. Meditate.
This one I know is not always easy and trust me I am not about to preach about being the world's best meditation guide. It's hard to quiet your mind and sit in silence and put the phone down and just clear your mind. It's a magical experience once you give it a try and it's something that has made me see things clearer, become calmer and become more grounded in my life. I attended my first meditation retreat in April and I learned methods of breathing and humming and tips for your body to stay still in moments when you're struggling with finding that quiet space. The world is full of noise and finding your quiet space is necessary for all of us. It's magical to find where you can end up when you quiet your thoughts and just be. I have experienced memories in gong meditation that I had forgotten and moments from my childhood that brought joy that as an adult I had forgotten. If you have never given it a chance, please reconsider. There are so many guided meditations on YouTube that are so helpful in finding your center. It’s worth it, trust me.
4. Go to therapy.
Why are we all not seeing a therapist? I have had moments where I thought I didn't need to seek help and that I could figure it all out on my own but realizing that I can’t has been huge for my growth. Talking to someone that is a licensed professional has been so helpful for me. A non biased person who is there to listen and guide me in moments of doubt with decisions I have made, figuring out why I have patterns in my life and that sometimes childhood trauma can lead to even bigger adult problems. Working through them and continuing to grow through past experiences has helped me discover what makes me, me. I struggle as a Mom, as an individual, in relationships, careers everything and having someone to guide me and dig a little deeper has been very eye opening and it's tough. If you’ve got things buried deep bringing them to the surface is TOUGH and it's unsettling and can bring up a lot of things you thought you had dealt with. Chances are they just got shoved down deep and that's not the right path for healing. We need to heal from the tough stuff to truly live at our best potential.
5. Move your body.
After I had Anthony I started running. I had always dreamed of being a runner like my sister. She's a gazelle and runs 6 or more miles a day, she's a rock star. I pushed myself and I signed up for races and it was an awesome experience. I was proud I felt like it was such a good release after having two children for me to get out there and be moving my body and pushing myself. As the years went by I found it harder and harder to get back into running. I would try and do a few miles here and there working myself back up to being the runner I was when I first started and it left me feeling defeated when I couldn't get back there as quickly as I thought. I would give up and just do nothing. Leaving my body stagnant and stale with no release. I recently started biking on the bike trail and it has given me that same kind of satisfaction that running once did. I have accepted that maybe I won't run again like that and that's okay but there are plenty of other things to do to get my blood flowing. Walking, hiking, biking, yoga there are so many options and thinking that running was the only way for me was not the answer. Moving my body in some way has been so mentally rewarding for me and I am so grateful for the day I realized it didn't end because I wasn't the runner I once was.
6. Manifest your dreams.
I learned about manifesting before I had my kids. I read the book “The Law of Attraction” by Esther and Jerry Hicks and it really opened my eyes. There is nothing out of your reach. The life you want can be yours if you believe and are open to receiving it. Living every day feeling blue and unworthy of things with a “poor me” attitude will in fact give you that exact life that you see for yourself. You're asking for it and believing that it is what you deserve. Positive attitudes and mindsets bring positive results. Telling the universe what you want and KNOWING you will have it is all it takes to make your dreams come true. Believing something to be true is powerful, whether it's positive or negative thoughts. We create our own destinies. It's hard to not let the negative thoughts in especially in times when it seems to be surrounding us. Manifesting for me has related back to writing things down. I like to write on paper what I want. What I will have. What my life will be like in 5 years where I will be mentally physically and believing it. Whether it's about a career, a relationship or becoming a mother, I have had goals that I had written down YEARS ago when I was in my 20’s. I put them in a box. I wrote them as if they were already real. In this part of my life they seemed to be a million miles away but I still believed they would come true. And they did. I wrote, I am a runner. I own my own business. I am a Mother. I am the Mother of two beautiful children. I started an Etsy company that I made an incredible amount of money from. I became a runner. I was 25 when I wrote those things down in a dead end relationship with no signs of any of that in my future but I put it out there, I believed it every single day and it happened. I manifested what I wanted for myself and made it happen. My thoughts became my reality.
7. Read all the self help books.
Knowledge is power. Reading books about real life situations has been a huge help for me. I love encouraging books and spiritual books about becoming more inline with your body and yourself. I am so fascinated with the power of energy and listening to what the universe is telling you. I've never been one to read fictional stories and that's just me. I don't always find the time to sit and read but audio books have also been a great resource. Glennon Doyle has touched my soul and wrote some very inspiring books that have been the reason I started writing this blog. Reading about other people who have had similar struggles and overcome them is insanely inspiring. I have always found myself in the self help book section of the library or bookstore. No shame, I am always trying to figure out why and understand things a little bit better for myself.
8. Listen to your gut.
Looking back I can't even begin to tell you how many times my gut told me things and I chose not to listen. Whether it was to not do something or to take a leap the answers to our questions are inside of us and we just need to LISTEN. I’m starting to learn more and more everyday to trust myself and trust my gut. Sometimes what our gut is telling us is not what we want to hear. We don't want to do the real hard stuff or the scary stuff. Taking the risk of making the leap is so scary. This is something I hope to teach my kids early on. That feeling you get in your lower belly that makes you feel uneasy, listen to it. It's telling you something is NOT RIGHT. That feeling of excitement you get and the desire and urge you have to try something new and take a chance, LISTEN TO IT. Just listen to yourself. Don't listen to everyone else. Don’t be anyone but yourself and follow what you are feeling. No one else can tell you what you're feeling inside of you and understanding how to listen to yourself is a wonderful gift. Use it. Listen.
I hope these little bullets were helpful. I am by no means perfect, I have a long way to go. I love watching myself evolve and grow everyday and it's an exciting journey. What makes the tough stuff easier for you? What do you do to get yourself feeling out of a funk? Do you practice daily rituals that help you become a better version of yourself? TELL ME. I want all the ideas and input. They may not work for me and mine may not work for you but we all have our own way of healing and growing. Comment on this blog or if you’d rather send me a private message shoot me an email on my blog email. I can’t wait to hear from you. -Xo
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